My least favorite team of the English Premier League, Manchester United, has remained my least favorite team for three reasons: 1) they are the NY Yankees of the league, cashing in big bank to rake in top players to bring them to the, you guessed it, top of the league; 2) Wayne Rooney, the thug with a teenage brain; and 3) the amazingly flashy Portuguese brat Cristiano Ronaldo, who for reasons unclear to my own reasoning ability, annoys the crap out of me. He's good, but he knows it. He's disciplined yet cocky. He's flashy yet sometimes without a point. He gloats. Oh does he gloat. Nevertheless, there are headlines which make an virulent non-fan feel a bit chipper at the sight of his shiny face (pictured below). This article relates his mother's wish, for him to play for Real Madrid before she dies. Who will be first at her door to make sure she's at her deathbed? I hear flights to Lisbon are cheap these days! In any case, Cristiano, you're mamma's wish awaits! Go!